Oceans Wide: The Truth About Letting Him Go

It’s another Tuesday, and hundreds of people have found their way to THM with the words “let him go.”

God, I feel for you.

I remember what that was like, the heart breaking moments when I realized that the love I thought was real turned fragile, dried before my eyes and blew away.   All that “love you forever,” “my goal in life is making you happy,” I promise I will never leave you again….”  all bullshit.  Sad words from a broken mind…and I didn’t even see it. I remember seeing “him” again and shaking my head, not reconciling that he no longer even looked like the man I once loved.  Too much pain between here and there.  Somewhere on this site there is the poem “She.”  That’s me.  I simply….let go.  No reserve, no regret, no return.

Letting go set me free.  Will it do the same for you?

I rebuilt my life.

Found home.

Found amazing love.

Do you realize that it’s you holding you in the pain?  No one has control over you that you don’t give them.  It’s not magical or mystical…it’s real.  Deep breath.  Let go.  Repeat.

If you’re trying to let “him” or “her” go today, I send you my love.  Here is the deal.  While you’re on the floor, they’re usually fine.   All those obsessive thoughts…they’re one sided.  I was fading into oblivion while he continued to lie to everyone in his world – even his exit from “our” life was full of half truths.  Yep, he lied his way into a new start.  Does it make me mad?  Am I mounted for revenge or thinking that the woman in his life now should know that he’s a lying *.*?  Nope, not really.  I have abdicated my responsibility that he can’t tell the truth; it was never mine.  Let him lie to her…he is , after all, his fathers son.  I am not sure how that works out, but I am also not sure that I care anymore.  “Him” for me is a toxic Lothario, someone that people warned me about.  I was lucky enough to have a few friends throw down that gauntlet, make up whatever they had to and take the dangerous road of confrontation…and that was the end of the story, quenched by a need to just end the brutality that was him.

Ah, this is the part where you don’t believe that your he/she could ever be a rat.

Not your deal, hummmm?

Still singing the millions of praises that the former love of your life possesses?

Been there.  Done that.  Burned the shirt.

Stop.

Immediately.

If you’re done – even for now – you’re done.  “Getting back together” requires two new people, even if that is two weeks from now.  Can you imagine that if  you feel this way about the wrong person…what it will be like with the right one? Your life is for living…for loving yourself in a healthly way.  It’s time to set new goals and leave the clouded space that you’re in.

Noone deserves to live in pain.  No one deserves to be cheated on, left behind, discarded like so much forgotten luggage along the road of life.  You’re worth more than that.

If you want to let go, that is just what you have to do.  Moment by moment at first, then day by day, week by week.  Soon, you won’t really think about it at all, even though now you feel like your life is ending.  Get out, dance, laugh, try new things, cook, be alive.  Don’t sit on the floor in a pile of goo and let life pass you by.  Yes, you will feel the pain of loss….but you will also know that there are possibilities out there….focus on them…..and that is the truth about letting go.  Let yourself dream about the possibilities of a life without the person that hurts…life on your terms.

I wish you love if you’re hurting today.  Love that is ocean wide, full of hope, possibility and depth.  Love that endures, lasts and perseveres in the face of “it” all.